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What’s a Toxic Relationship and Are You in One?

What's a Toxic Relationship and Are You in One?

The mind-body connection, in all it’s interconnected glory, explains why the stress of toxic relationships is so detrimental to our overall wellness.

The mind-body connection, in all it’s interconnected glory, explains why the stress of toxic relationships is so detrimental to our overall wellness. When we are in a healthy relationship with another person, we feel supported, loved, respected, and cared for. We feel that no matter what challenges we face in life, we have a teammate, a best friend, and a lover to go through it all with. A healthy relationship has an incredibly positive impact on both our physical and emotional health. Strong relationships are shown to to strengthen immunity, increase lifespan, and offer us a safe space to grow.¬†

 

“Bad relationships are like a bad investment. No matter how much you put into it you’ll never get anything out of it. Find someone that’s worth investing in.”

We all encounter toxic people, but not all will remain trapped within the unhealthy dynamic. The term “toxic relationship” probably makes you think of a narcissistic ex or a high-maintenance friend. But bullies, whose power comes from hijacking your emotions, exist everywhere- within families, social groups, the workplace, and out in the world. All too often, it is the sensitive, empathetic personality types that gets pulled into the drama. Most toxic relationships start off as whirlwinds of passion and excitement, and we use the memories of these early moments of lust and intense joy as a reason to stay when things start to take a turn toward the unhealthy side.

Here are some signs that may indicate you are in a toxic relationship.

  1. Possessiveness: When someone is jealous to a point where they try to control who you spend time with and what you do when you’re not with them.
  2. Isolation: When someone keeps you away from friends, family, or other people.
  3. You notice a significant change to your behavioural patters: Your performance at work is affected as the relationship is causing you distress or taking up all of your focus and energy. You feel more tired, unmotivated, and disinterested in life outside of your relationships.
  4. You experience fear around expressing your own feelings or opinions.
  5. You are repeatedly lied to and made to feel that you are being “crazy” when you question their actions. This is also known as gaslighting.
  6. You¬†don’t feel safe to be yourself in your¬†relationship so you begin to mold¬†yourself into what you think your partner wants you to be.
  7. Belittling: When someone does and says things to make you feel bad about sometime you say, do, or your achievements. 
  8. Volatility: When someone has a really strong, unpredictable reaction that makes you feel scared, confused or intimidated.
  9. You find yourself trapped in repetitive negative cycles.
  10. You lie to your friends and family about the details of your relationship to protect your partner and their ‘integrity’.
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At-Home Date Night

At-Home Date Night

Whether you’ve been cooped up with your partner for over a month now or meeting someone new on video chat, a date night now requires signifcantly more creativity than it once did. We want to help you curate the perfect, cost-friendly at-home date night ideas for you and your significant others.

Before we focus on the ideas, let’s talk about what you can do to make yourself date night ready. I don’t know about you, but my lack of effort in the appearance department has gone down the drain since quarantine has begun, and it can make or break you and your self-esteem. Getting yourself put together like you would if you had somewhere to be can change how you approach your day. So, my suggestion to get you in your date night mood would be to pretend you were going out for a night on the town. Throw on a flowy dress, a pair of wedges, a little bit of makeup to brighten your complexion, and your favourite hoop earrings. For one, you will feel good about yourself, but you’ll also have your significant other turning their head.

Date night = the best night

We know life gets busy, but now with these unexpected changes that allow us to stay home, put aside one night a week to focus on one another. Date night at home doesn’t have to be complicated or costly, so put away the phone, make a playlist of you and you’re partners favourite songs and try some of these ideas.

Date Night Ideas

  • Forget Wine and Cheese… how about a Chocolate tasting night? Pick six chocolates to taste test after dinner ordered in! Pair it with your favourite alcoholic or non-alcoholic drink.
  • Set up a mini spa with incense and give each other massages. Use Google or Youtube to learn some proper techniques.
  • Have a “finger food only dinner” and feed each other.
  • Go on a picnic. If it is warm enough, try to go outside (even if it’s in your backyard). And if it’s too cold, spread a quilt out on the floor, open a bottle of wine and have some finger foods while keeping your picnic indoors.
  • Have a karaoke night! Find songs with lyrics on Youtube and sing your hearts out. This is funniest if you can find some heart wrenching ballads to belt out with one another.
  • Have a video game night. Seriously, this can be a lot of fun. Use whatever game station you have, whether it’s a competitive game of Mario Kart or your partners favourite war game.
  • Make it a theme night. Choose a theme and centre everything you do around it. For example, if you choose an Italian theme, you could eat spaghetti and gelato, then watch a movie like ‘Eat Pray Love’ -some other fun theme ideas are; Mexican, Asian, Christmas Dinner, 1950’s, etc.
  • Have a romantic candlelit dinner. It doesn’t matter if you’re eating hot dogs and Mac and Cheese or steak; anything candlelit will be romantic. Set up the table with fancy napkins and flowers to add that romantic feel to the evening.
  • Have a homemade pizza night. This is a fun and easy way to get you two in the kitchen together while cooking comfort food that will taste amazing.
  • Have Breakfast in Bed (even if it’s a night date)! Breakfast for dinner is one of my favourite meals. Pull out the TV trays and go all out in your pyjamas and fuzzy socks.
  • Have a living room campout. Make indoor stores and tinfoil dinner in your oven. Make a tent out of pillows and blankets and full out the blow-up mattress.
  • Have a movie marathon. Pick a theme (whether it’s an actor, genre, or series) and watch as many as possible. If you fall asleep, you can always pick up where you left off another night.
  • Bubble bath for two. Need I say more?

 

 

You can do so many things in the comfort of your own home that will add some extra flair into your ordinary evenings spent with your partner.

 

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